People always claim how much they don’t care and blahblahblah until I start to ignore them / cut them off. Playing that tough guy role will seriously get you NOWHERE with me. I express when I care about things because that’s me being true to my feelings.
Oh well, people always learn the hard way with me. Once my mind is made up, I seriously don’t renege on my word. No lie.
I laugh and smile all of the time, so I’m sure if I ever expressed what was truly inside of me people would be shocked. I love that people have that image of me, though. If anything bad happened, it would be great to be remembered as the girl who smiled and tried her best to make people happy.
I know people on my dash are probably like “wtf”, but I’m just thinking and blogging. I’ve never posted anything regarding my feelings on here but today I happened to decide to.
But, I realize why I can’t and try my best to shake out of that state of mind. It’s definitely okay not to be okay, but it’s not okay to stay in a vulnerable state. Know your worth and move forward. I’m choosing to be happy one day at a time.
- name: neka
- height: 5’1
- relationship status: i’m singleeee.
- birthday: june 13th.
- favorite color: burgundy.
- favorite artists: beyonce, usher, trey songz, drake, chris brown, frank ocean, and lana del rey.
- last song listened: soon as i get home - faith evans
- favorite movie: so many, i’d be listing things for daaaays.
Oh whoooaaaa… design issues.
When you’re in the moment trying to compromise with someone, they pretend that they don’t care and what you’re saying is complete BS. Then like two days later they want to have a casual conversation like we didn’t end on a horrible note. The conversation is only started to see how I’ll reply, which is hilarious to me as well.
Sometimes I can look over thing, hell, A LOT of the time I can look over things. But, when you’re acting out of your character for no reason at all - it’s a certified fail. I can only care so much and I refuse to be walked over.
And if this was one time, cool. 398983293938 times? No.
I talked to my old best friend from high school today. We had a very serious talk about life and then laughed for hours. I’m glad that she’s doing well and I’m glad that her son is doing even better. I always knew she would be a great mom. But, I pray that we’ll really keep those plans and hang out over the summer. If I don’t get one of these jobs I applied for, I’ll have plenty of time (minus when I’m studying, ohhh summer school).
Anyway, I feel I’ve subjected myself to loneliness long enough. Staying inside all of the time and not doing anything is dead. I’ve thought long and hard about decisions I’ve made and the people I communicated with. This summer is going to be as great as I make it. So far it’s looking beyond good.
I have issues speaking about things so writing them out would be much better. Sort of like a personal challenge to write down my exact feelings. However, I won’t be linking it to anyone. If someone finds it, maybe what I speak about can help them as well.